[Chorus 1]
I know why I like you
It's cause of your clothing and your haircut
And cause you're racist
I have a match; your face
My asking you questions you can't answer
You want to box me?

[Verse 1]
Our world works in a weird way
I've heard them say a man with a beard may
Frighten children or dogs but a mustache scares me more

[Chorus 2]
I know why you bite me
It's cause of your instincts and your canines
And cause I kicked you
I have a bone to pick;
Please go on the paper and fetch me my slippers
And stop meowing

[Verse 2]
Man's best friend wags his tail and
Bares his teeth at the man with the mail and
Though he's frightened of thunder he never goes to war

[Bridge]
Tell me what's the circumstance of circumcision?
And what goes in my daughter's pants is whose decision?
I've seen the facts of inter-race relations
Of see-through slacks, of cyber-masturbation;
If a hundred monkeys each could get their own show
Perhaps one day a chimp might say
"And you have faith, you just need to use it sayeth the Lord"

[Chorus 3]
I know why I like you
It's cause of your sandals and your supper
And cause you're Jesus
I have a match; your dad, my dad has
Your picture right next to your mother's
And one of Charo

[Verse 3]
They hold hands up in heaven
And they say that their son's name is Kevin
But I read in a book somewhere that his name is Jack