The Ballad of Dorothy Parker

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“The Ballad of Dorothy Parker” was intended to be the fifth commercially released single from Prince’s album, Sign O' the Times, but those plans were abandoned. Though the… Read More

Mar. 31, 19871 viewer32.7K views

The Ballad of Dorothy Parker Lyrics

[Verse 1]
Dorothy was a waitress on the promenade
She worked the night shift
Dishwater blonde, tall and fine
She got a lot of tips

[Verse 2]
Well, earlier, I'd been talkin' stuff in a violent room
Fightin' with lover's past
I needed someone with a quicker wit than mine
Dorothy was fast

[Verse 3]
Well, I ordered: "Yeah, let me get a fruit cocktail, I ain't too hungry"
Dorothy laughed
She said: "It sound like a real man to me
(You're kinda cute)
You're kinda cute, you wanna take a bath?"
(Do you wanna, do you wanna?)
... Bath?

[Verse 4]
Oh, I said: "Cool, but I'm leavin' my pants on (What you say?)
'Cause I'm kinda goin' with someone"
She said: "Sound like a real man to me
Mind if I turn on the radio?"
"Oh, my favorite song," she said
And it was Joni singing: "Help me, I think I'm falling"
(Drring) The phone rang and she said
"Whoever's calling can't be as cute as you"
Right then and there, I knew I was through
(Dorothy Parker was cool)
Well

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[Verse 5]
My pants were wet, they came off
But she didn't see the movie 'cause she hadn't read the book first
Instead, she pretended she was blind
An affliction brought on by a witch's curse
Dorothy made me laugh
(Ha-ha, ha-ha)
I felt much better so I went back to the violent room
(Tell us what you did, what you did)
Let me tell you what I did

[Chorus]
I took another bubble bath with my pants on
All the fighting stopped
Next time, I'll do it sooner
This is the ballad of Dorothy Parker
Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker
Swee-eet, hee, hee, hoo-ooh
Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker

[Outro]
Well
Dorothy Parker, Dorothy Parker
Well
Oh

About

“The Ballad of Dorothy Parker” was intended to be the fifth commercially released single from Prince’s album, Sign O' the Times, but those plans were abandoned.

Though the titular subject shares the name of noted writer/wit/bon vivant, that’s pure coincidence. Per Matt Thorne’s 2012 biography, Prince, the song was inspired by a dream Prince had and/or a fight with his lover/muse Susannah Melvoin and he was legitimately surprised when someone pointed out to him that Parker was an actual historical figure. Thorne also points out that the song seems to be a narrative inversion of Joni Mitchell’s “Help Me,” which Prince interpolates midway through “Dorothy Parker.”

The song’s hazy, narcotic sound was an accident: engineer Susan Rogers was setting up a home studio for Prince and “Dorothy Parker” was the first song recorded on the new equipment. Unbeknownst to them, there had been an electrical failure and the board was running at half power. Prince loved the murky sound and opted not to re-record.