[Verse 1] Oh, me and my cousin, one Arthur McBride As we went a-walking down by the seaside Now mark what followed and what did betide For it being on Christmas morning
[Verse 2] Now, for recreation, we went on a tramp And we met Sergeant Napper and Corporal Vamp And a little wee drummer intending to camp For the day being pleasant and charming
[Verse 3] "Good morning, good morning," the Sergeant he cried "And the same to you, gentlemen," we did reply Intending no harm but meant to pass by For it being on Christmas morning
[Verse 4] "But," says he, "My fine fellows, if you will enlist Ten guineas in gold I'll stick in your fist And a crown in the bargain for to kick up the dust And drink the king's health in the morning
[Verse 5] For a soldier, he leads a very fine life And he always is blessed with a charming young wife And he pays all his debts without sorrow or strife And he always lives pleasant and charming
[Verse 6] And a soldier, he always is decent and clean In the finest of clothing he's constantly seen While other poor fellows go dirty and mean And sup on thin gruel in the morning."
[Instrumental Interlude]
[Verse 7] "But," says Arthur, "I wouldn't be proud of your clothes For you've only the lend of them, as I suppose But you dare not change them one night, for you know If you do, you'll be flogged in the morning
[Verse 8] And although that we're single and free We take great delight in our own company We have no desire strange places to see Although that your offers are charming
[Verse 9] And we have no desire to take your advance All hazards and dangers we barter on chance For you'd have no scruples for to send us to France Where we would get shot without warning."
[Verse 10] "Oh no," says the Sergeant. "I'll have no such chat And neither will I take it from snappy young brats For if you insult me with one other word I'll cut off your heads in the morning."
[Verse 11] And Arthur and I, we soon drew our hogs And we scarce gave them time to draw their own blades When a trusty shillelagh came over their head And bid them take that as fair warning
[Verse 14] And we having no money, paid them off in cracks We paid no respect to their two bloody backs And we lathered them there like a pair of wet sacks And left them for dead in the morning
[Verse 15] And so, to conclude and to finish disputes We obligingly asked if they wanted recruits For we were the lads who would give them hard clouts And bid them look sharp in the morning
[Instrumental Interlude]
[Verse 16] Oh, me and my cousin, one Arthur McBride As we went a-walking down by the seaside Now mark what followed and what did betide For it being on Christmas morning
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A traditional Irish or possibly Scottish anti-recruiting song. The earliest reference is 1840 but it probably dates from the Napoleonic wars. The British army has traditionally heavily recruited from Ireland, to a poverty stricken Irishman the inducements offered by the army could outway a life of penury.
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